It is really hard to find people who do what they say they are going to do. I hate to give up on people but how many times should a person bail on you and you be OK with it? My new attitude toward this is going to be " call me when you are ready to wear your integrity panties". I am not going to waste my time relying on people who repeatedly let me down.

I understand when it has a valid reason. Like " I can't go to the gym, my baby has big red spots all over him". Absolutely, be with your baby. I would think you were horrible if you didn't!! haha But it is when you say " let's go for a run this day" and you get a yeah sure!! then you get a " I will have to see" and then you get an excuse that they could totally work around. I don't care if you want to sit on your ass and find an excuse for doing anything in life. It isn't my life you are ruining. But don't waste my time by making false promises.

I find these people are hard to find. I'm running out of friends. Am I an asshole??

Try this!!

A follow up from yesterday. When driving to work or standing in line and the person in front of you doesn't seem to know what they are doing or taking forever to get out of your way, just think to yourself. " They are not doing this on purpose, they just have their own thing going on. Don't take it personally. You don't know what their day has been like and they are not being slow because they want you to be late. They are just un aware.

try it for a day

Ego, have you ever thought about it? How much does it get in the way of your life every day??

Try for just one day to go with out it. Get up and get ready for your day without dressing in something someone else will like. Wear something you want to wear and something comfortable. With staying in the reasonable allowances for your work or whatever your plans are. IE: If you work in an office and you are supposed to dress business casual. Dress business casual. But if there is a blazer you have been wanting to try with a certain shirt, but not sure of the colours together. Just wear it. You will know if YOU like it by the end of the day.

Go through your day not judging anyone and pay to no mind of people who you feel might be judging you. It doesn't matter.

I read a book a while ago about ego. I have tried this exercise and it is very difficult, BUT very liberating.

Goals

I have a few goals that I I need to hit... and I figure I need to put it all down somewhere.. A) Goal weight!!! gotta stop waiting for it to just happen... my diet is getting back to normal but still falling off the wagon... I think I at a whole cup of mini M&Ms yesterday and 1 1/5 cupcakes that I make the previous day with they boys...

B) Need to see my Visa bill at a big ft 0... It has gotten a little up there with a few medical things and the bitter sweetness of having to pick up a few new clothes that fit... and My Vacation...

c) There are a few relationships need to work on.. fortunately the most important one is fantastic ( My marriage) but there are a few out there that I would like to whip in to shape..

Day 1 back on track

Fell off the wagon the last week and a half.. I went back home for a bit of a holiday. My kids had spring break so we headed to Grandma and Grandpas house.. It was great. My oldest didn't want to come home but the youngest was a little bit home sick. I would have liked to stay a little longer but it was nice to get home.

I did really well as far as hitting the gym every morning. Did not miss one day, even after going out a few late nights... I was wiped when I arrived home and needed a few good nights sleep before I felt caught up.

Didn't eat very well while I was there.. My parents don't have regular dinner routines... they just eat when they are hungry.. so it was tough... but I am only up 3 pounds and I am ok with that.. I had a good week and for the amount of drinks I consumed and the amount of dinners on the run, I say 3 lbs is pretty good... won't take long to get rid of that and then I can focus on the last 5.

I have a couple of new gym buddies that are have goals and focus.. I have workouts planned with them and throw in a yoga class or two, I think I am going to see results quickly... I just have to remember that it is 80% diet.

AS IF!!!

Made a trip to my home town yesterday with my two boys. It was a great drive!! Very uneventful, which is good when you are driving with two kids for 6 hours!! THEN with about 3 minutes to go to get to my parents house I was pulled over. I had an expired licence.
So, he must have just been watching cars go by and plugging in licence plates. Mine was registered to me and I had an expired licence... So, my licence was seized and I couldn't do anything until this morning because all of the registry offices were closed. I was seriously 7 houses away from my parents house... I was tempted to call my Mom and have her come and get the boys but decided to just wait it out... The officer said that he really wasn't supposed to let me drive it but he said he would let me drive the rest of the way but he was going to follow me.. sigh
Nothing like a police chaperone to your parents house

Before and after

So this was me in the summer. July 30th to be exact. I was forced to take these pictures by a friend of mine who is a personal trainer back home. I did not want to do it. Let alone did I want to show anyone. I think for real, I didn't want to see the reality. Cause I was the only one who didn't know what I looked like.

It started me on a journey of changing my diet habits and my activities. You may not know it but I was relatively active here. I needed to change a lot about what I ate. I knew what to do.. But it was so easy to do nothing.

I remember the moment when I thought.. This isn't me.. I was back home and in the middle of a workout with my personal trainer friend. We were working out side by side and I saw him in the mirror beside me and I saw how perfect his posture was and then I saw me.. even though I was standing up straight I looked sloppy and sad. I said to myself this has got to change.

This was taken today. I am happy to say that this is the last time I will be wearing this swimming suit.. it is way too big.. There is a 35 lbs difference between the two sets of pictures.
I still have about 5 lbs I would like to lose and do some more muscle work but for the most part I am quite happy that my hard work is showing.